A sad fact of life is that not everyone you work with will be cooperative, loveable or even likeable. 

In fact, you may have to manage people who can only be classified as downright difficult.

There are a number of approaches to managing difficult people – the trick is to find ways that you feel comfortable with and that are also effective. Getting a great result for both parties

All Managers  at some point during their career will deal with a variety of personalities.  Luckily, most people are cooperative and operate in a reasonable, rational manner. 

There are some employees in every organisation who turn out to be difficult to work near or with.  We can all have a bad day and are hell to live with!

What we are talking about here are people that generally always seem to be angry or self centred. These people are generally focused on their own agendas and needs and are unable to see past themselves. 

It is interesting in that often their behaviour has been left to fester for years. Without anyone actually pointing it out to them. Yes that is actually true. I remember taking a team over a few years ago and having to deal with the rep from hell! or so everyone said.

What was fascinating was that nobody had actually pointed out to him how his behaviour was effecting everyone on the team. The poor guy was giving all this negative energy out. So what must he have been feeling like. 

Being constantly angry is not good for you physiologically let alone your relationships. I digress. Maybe the subject for another post.

Going back to the team you are managing and how Mr or Miss angrys behaviour effects them.  Usually you will find increased tension, conflicts, alienation to name just a few.

So far we have talked about the angry guy or girl. Usually quite extreme though in some ways easier to handle. What can be more challenging are the other “difficult” types.

Lets explore a little more

As a generalisation There are three types of difficult people:
1. Aggressive People
2. Victims
3. Rescuers

In order to develop effective approaches to managing difficult people, you’ll need to understand a little about each type of person.

Aggressive People

You’ll notice the aggressive people right away – they are demanding and loud.  They rarely listen and they talk over people when they try to speak.  The general attitude of an aggressive person is one of being right all the time, while everyone else is wrong.  In short- aggressive people are often seen as bullies.

Aggressive people tend to use phrases like:
 “If you don’t like it, there’s the door! Don’t let it hit you on the way out.”
 “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
 “That’s wrong. This is right.”
 
As a manager hoping to work with aggressive people, you’ll want to give them opportunity to vent and speak what’s on their minds first.  They are easily angered and will not be able to calm down until they’ve blown of steam.  Use your active listening skills to show them you are listening and attempting to understand what they’re saying.

Your job when managing aggressive people is to get them to understand that there is often more than one right answer, that while their opinions are valued – other people have equally valued opinions and ideas and need the opportunity to express them.

Victims

Victims in the workplace complain, moan, and whine constantly.  They blame everyone else for their problems and often seem timid or helpless. 

Other people also feel depressed being around victims.

Comments victims are heard making include:
 “Why do things like this always happen to ME?!”
 “There isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done. I never have time for myself. I can’t get it all done.”
 “They won’t do their work so I can’t get mine done.”

When managing “victims” you’ll want to listen to all of their complaints because these people complain so often- no one really listens to them anymore.  They feel neglected and forgotten. 

Give your  understanding of what the victim feels and then try to get them to prioritize their problems and work with them to develop a course of action to resolve the problems in order of importance.

If you can help a victim to realize he or she is not helpless, they can become vital assets to the team.

Rescuers

People who are rescuers need to be liked and appreciated by everyone they meet.  They will go out of their way to help people and avoid confrontation.  Rescuers will say “yes” and never think about the implications of saying yes.  They often over commit and then can’t get their own work done because they’re off helping everyone else.

You’ll hear rescuers saying things like:

 “I know this is your project, but if I add it to my list it will help take some of the burden off you.”
 “Oh just put it on my desk, I can get to that in a few minutes for you.”
 “I’ll help you with that!”

To effective manage rescuers, you’ll want to hold them accountable for performing their own job responsibilities – if they have extra time that they use to help everyone else, you can assign them larger or longer tasks to work on.

Understanding these approaches to managing difficult people will help you lead a wide variety of personality types in the workplace.